Makinsie's story

“On June 4, 2014, my son Jude was born still at 30 weeks. He is my first child, and there are no words to describe the heartbreak my husband, family, and I have endured since. In fact, I’m not even sure there are words that describe the experience of your child dying. When he died, I felt like I died too. I didn’t how I could possibly go on living life without him. I feel like I lost full months of my life in a fog of disbelief and sadness.

Then, a friend told me about Amelia and Landon. Reading her posts made me feel less alone; grief is so isolating and stillbirth makes people so uncomfortable. I signed up to attend the retreat, unsure and scared of what was to come. After Jude’s death, I’ve struggled with separation anxiety from my husband, afraid something may happen to him too. I didn’t know how I’d do. To say the retreat strengthened me is an understatement. It was so powerful to be in the midst of some of the strongest people on earth – mothers who endured the death of their child. I made forever friendships, learned about myself, reignited my love for yoga, but most of all, spent days dedicated to thinking about Jude and talking about him with people who understood. It was time for me to spend with him, just Jude and me, and that was so healing.

The network of mothers I met has helped me immensely since the retreat too. We talk all the time. We help each other. We ask for advice. We share our despair and struggles. We’re there for each other. Thank you Amelia and Landon for such a life-changing experience that I will never forget. Lots of love."